Words of Affirmation

Affirmations are positive words and phrases that one can often repeat when they are in a state of emotional distress or to help them stay motivated at critical times; these statements can be called positive self-talk. They’re intended to change negative thoughts into positive ones and help promote positive transformation. For certain people, using self-affirming phrases can boost confidence, increase self-esteem, and ease anxiety.


Mental health counselors might even suggest positive affirmations to complement the patient’s treatment process. This approach can help patients gain a positive perspective regarding a stressful situation.

What Are Words of Affirmation?

Words of Affirmation can be any spoken or written words that positively affirm, encourage, and empathize with you or someone else.


Words of Affirmation can be described as those words that convey your admiration, gratitude, and respect for yourself or a person. They are positive phrases and words employed to lift someone; additionally, these compliments and words of encouragement don’t have to be said directly to a person. A simple hand-written note is appreciated just as much as a phone call.

What Types Of Phrases Can You Use For Words Of Affirmation?

Affirmations should not be limited to “I love me, I love you.” They could be positive things about your relationship, yourself, words of encouragement, remarks about physical appearance, or words of gratitude for yourself and your partner and their interests.

You might not think words are essential, but Words of Affirmation can be a crucial component in your relationship. 

Words Of Affirmation You can say to Your Partner?

You must know this: phrases like “I love you” and “thank you,” and words expressing respect and admiration will go the furthest for people with this language as their dominant or only love language.


You might feel that words aren’t necessary, but they are essential in expressing your love and making your loved one feel appreciated!

Ultimately, everyone has their interests and different things they love hearing, and if you know that person, you’ll likely know what to say.

  • Keep him on course by keeping him focused and on track by reminding him of his goals. “You’re so good at what you do; I know we’ll get there soon!” is an excellent encouragement for men to hear.
  • You can compliment her outfit or how she appears; this can be very effective! Make sure not to praise her for something you don’t like on her, or else the compliments can feel unnatural and empty.

Make using words of affirmation a routine in your relationship by incorporating important words frequently when you speak to one another. Everyone needs words of encouragement from time to time, So why not begin doing it every day?

It will help make it easier for him to get you messages of encouragement and affection since you speak words that boost his confidence and do not erode his self-esteem or ego.

If You are Married, and Words Of Affirmation is Your Love Language

When Words of Affirmation are how you feel most loved, make sure you keep reminding your spouse of how to do it.

  • I know words aren’t your thing–but can you try to say something nice to me when we get in the car together every morning? It’ll help me feel loved even if words don’t come naturally to you.
  • Let’s write each other notes before bed so that we can be reminded how much we appreciate each other.
  • Make words a priority in your relationship by speaking words of affirmation every day.

Words of Affirmation for Yourself

This could be a strange idea as many people have been taught to express affection to others but not themselves.

The first step is to determine the best way to express this; in writing or verbally. Test both and then see which feels most at ease. Verbally, you can send voice notes or record yourself expressing gratitude, pride, and appreciation. Also, you can practice in front of the mirror.

Here are a few ideas of what you can say:

  • “I love myself.”
  • “I am so proud of what I have achieved.”
  • “I love all the ways I am unique.”
  • “I am grateful for who I am.”
  • “I believe in myself.”
  • “I accept myself unconditionally.”

If you prefer writing, you could keep a gratitude or self-love journal and write what you are thankful for about yourself or schedule texts or emails to receive them when you have something challenging coming up, e.g., an examination or an interview.

Plus, if you purchase something online, don’t ignore the “type a note” section; instead, compose an enticing message for you to read when you open your purchase.

Examples of Words of Affirmation for Your Relationship

If you feel overwhelmed when it comes to mastering the Words of Affirmation, and love language, here are a few simple affirmations you can begin with:

  • I love you
  • I am really lucky to have you in my life
  • You look/smell/sound amazing
  • Thank you for doing THIS for me
  • You bring so much joy to my day
  • I trust you
  • I value your opinion
  • I believe in you
  • You are a really good friend and partner
  • I was really impressed when you…
  • It meant so much to me the way you…
  • Thank you for the effort you put into our relationship
  • Your communication skills are excellent
  • I really value our talks 
  • I am really motivated by you
  • You did a great job on…
  • I’m so proud to be with you
  • Thank you for making time for me
  • Thank you for listening to me
  • You are amazing
  • You look so beautiful
  • I recognize how hard you have been working
  • You make me feel safe
  • I am here if you need me
  • I couldn’t have done it without your support
  • You are so smart
  • I have complete faith and confidence in you
  • I am sorry this happened; how can I help?
  • We are a great team
  • You handled that beautifully
  • I’m happier when you are here
  • You are so kind and loyal
  • You really brighten my day
  • I’m blessed to have met you

How to Use Words of Affirmation

Be Genuine

Honest communication is essential in regard to words affirmation and love language. It only works if it comes from the heart, as your partner isn’t looking for empty words or platitudes. Being honest shouldn’t be difficult if there are genuine and open reasons that you’re with your partner. It’s just about saying it in words.

Be Appreciative

Recognition can be a key factor for those who love words of affirmation. Everyone wants to feel valued, and you can make your loved one feel loved and valued when you can acknowledge the wonderful things they do to show you love. A simple “thank you,” or even going that extra mile to make them feel appreciated, can instantly bring them warmth.

Be Empathetic

Empathy is an essential aspect of connecting for those who rely on words of affirmation as their primary love language. Positive affirmations can be as easy as telling them that you will be there for them if they are feeling down or providing positive affirmation in times of anxiety.

Point Out Their Strengths

A great tip to make the most out of affirmations is to emphasize your partner’s strengths. There are qualities and strengths that make us unique, and by acknowledging the qualities of your partner, you’ll provide them with the ideal boost for their self-esteem.

Post A Note

If you are always vocal, another way of communicating with your partner can be in the form of letter writing and leaving notes. Sweet text messages, a notepad on the refrigerator, a charming card, or something similar could all be an example of expressing your love for someone else through words of affirmation that convey your emotions.

Express Frequently

When it comes to love languages, it is important to understand the preferred love language of a person and how they prefer to be spoken to, and it isn’t just a one-time switch. The use of words of affirmation often is an integral part of the procedure. It can be a challenge when your love language is different; however, we primarily know about love languages to be equipped with the information you require to offer your loved one what they want and need.

Learn what They Like to Hear Most

There’s no universally-fit-all approach in the realm of relationships, love languages, and creating those beautiful communication connections. Some people may want to hear how you cherish their company; some may prefer low-key, quick gestures of appreciation or praise. You can learn when you talk about their desires and needs regarding what they would like to hear, and then it becomes possible to eliminate the guesswork and concentrate on quality and personalization over quantity.

How to Ask for Words of Affirmation

If you’re the one who needs words of affirmation to feel secure and safe in your relationship, it’s essential to know how to ask for it. It’s easy to feel that seeking validation is ‘needy’ or ‘weak’; however, knowing what we want and how we want to be treated is really an indication of strength. Asking for words of affirmation can be daunting, but these tips can help you out.

Don’t be Afraid

While it may make you feel vulnerable asking for words of affirmation, try to overcome that anxiety and fear. Be aware that talking about your desires and needs is crucial to establishing the foundation for a healthy love relationship. We should not expect our friends to read minds. By stating our desires and being truthful, sincere, honest, and authentic, we can help ourselves, our partners, and our relationship.

Be Direct

Be honest when you ask for what you want. Inform your partner that you love it when they respond with “THIS”. This is particularly important when you are aware that the primary language of your partner isn’t words of affirmation, as they might not be the most effective in expressing their emotions. The more precise you can be in your descriptions of what you love and don’t like about your partner, in addition to the way you express gratitude when you see your partner get their message right, the more blissful your communication will flow.

Do the Same Thing in Return

Couples may not have an identical love language, so when discussing words of affirmation, you can also figure out what love language gets to your partner. Maybe they require physical touch, or maybe they want actions of service or time with quality. It is also a good idea to make an effort to study their language so that you can offer them the things they need.

What Should Words Of Affirmation Not Do?

There are a few things to be aware of when using words of affirmation to make sure you’re not causing harm.

First, your words must not be fake but must come from a genuine place.

People who prefer this love language are conscious of the emotion that drives the message. If you’re making a statement that is not genuine, it is likely to cause deep hurt in people.

In that regard paying attention to your voice is equally important. Making statements just to say it and not paying attention to your words can be perceived as fake. Make sure you are clear about your motives and sincere in your words.

Can Words of Affirmation be Problematic?

Words of affirmation can become problematic, especially if used in a nefarious way to influence people. When they are used notoriously, what looks like words of affirmation can negatively affect a relationship.

An example is “love bombing.” This is when someone is showering you with praise, words of love, and compliments with the intention of controlling your emotions.

Love bombing can lead to dependence and diminish personal boundaries.

For instance, they could use words such as

  • “I want to spend every second with you.”
  • “You are the most important thing in my life.”
  • “We were destined to be together,” and this begins from early on in the relationship.

Although these words do not mean that anyone is committing love bombing but these phrases might be a source of concern, particularly when they are early in the relationship.

Also, rather than copying words or repeating the same phrases, direct and personalize your affirmations to the person you are speaking to. When you seem robotic or praise them for something that’s not particular to them or even pertinent to their situation, Your words of affirmation could have the opposite effect.

Additionally, if your partner has this love language, being silent and withholding your words is something you should never do. Through this behavior, you directly neglect their emotional needs and refuse them the love, appreciation, and validation they want to hear. Another technique that could look like words of affirmation but is utterly manipulative and harmful can be gaslighting.

For example, they may belittle or make fun of the fact that you need words of affirmation and then follow up with phrases like 

  • “I am doing this because I love you.”
  • “If you loved me, you would understand.”
  • “Everyone else is lying; I’m the one who cares about you the most.”

These words can be mistaken for words of affirmation; however, they are actually harmful. A manipulator’s effort to control you and the relationship.

Tips for Turning Positive Affirmations Into Personal Growth

Positive affirmations can be an excellent way to alter negative thought patterns and help create a positive perspective on life. But, for them to be effective, the affirmations must be specific to the person’s desires, needs, goals, and values.

If the goal is to boost self-care, eliminate negative thoughts, or boost self-esteem, these tips will aid anyone in transforming self-affirmations into personal development.

Make sure the Messages are Realistic. 

Sentences that contain realistic goals and expectations will more likely result in changes in behavior and actions. For example, stating that “I choose to eat healthy foods every day,” is more plausible than stating, “I will lose 50 pounds in the next 3 months.”

Reverse Thought Patterns. 

Recognize patterns of unhealthy or negative beliefs and thoughts and then turn them around. For example, instead of declaring, “I will challenge and fight if I disagree,” you should say, “I won’t be afraid to voice my opinion,” or even better, “I speak up confidently when I need to.”

Create Messages Meaningful to You.

Expressions that have personal meaning are more effective than general statements. To get ideas, make a list of your core values, goals, objectives, and hopes, and utilize them as a springboard for generating ideas.

Make it More Interesting.

Don’t be confined to the same tenets. Utilize the moment thoughts that reflect the circumstances that happen every day. For instance, before a meeting, choose to self-affirm by saying, “I deserve this opportunity” or “I present myself in a professional, polite, confident manner” because, most likely, you think that in the moment (the moment thoughts), so make an affirmation of it.

Make Use of the Mirror.

Mirrors work can be used to supplement spoken messages. It involves standing in front of a mirror in order to strengthen the message. Make sure to convey the message using an upright posture, be tall and straight, and deliver the message directly to the reflection by articulating clearly and confidently.

Keep the Statements Clear, Concise, and Affirming. 

Avoid negative words. Instead of saying “I can’t” or “I won’t,” choose phrases like “I can” and “I will.” Plus, make it as short as possible; short messages are usually simpler to remember.

Be Authentic.

Words of affirmation are only effective when they reflect the person who is affirming their inner truth. For instance, an atheist would not choose statements about the religion of God.

Write Messages in the Present Tense. 

Being in the moment can give the impression that the desired goal or dream is already happening.

Recite the Selected Phrases Repeatedly.

Include a self-affirming routine every day. Repeat the mantra several times or keep the message in a recording and replay it when required.

Use the Written Word. 

Don’t just repeat the phrases in your head. Keep an appreciation or mindfulness journal with inspiring thoughts and motivational messages. It’s even better to write inspirational thoughts and phrases and place them in a visible area in which they’ll be a constant reminder throughout the day.

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Why Are Words Of Affirmation Important?

The power of words of affirmation is crucial in all kinds of relationships because they are a great way to show appreciation and affection for the person you love. Particularly, some people need to hear positive affirmations directly since it makes them feel valued, appreciated, and loved.

So, high-quality expressions from an emotional place can help them feel satisfied and improve their sense of self-worth and enhance the bond.

Utilizing affirmations like these is not just for romantic relationships but also for other relationships, from colleagues to friends and even for ourselves.

A little more in-depth to understand the essence of it, affirmations that reflect your inner thoughts transform your thoughts into concrete phrases and words that allow others to feel your love and acceptance.

Thinking that they ought to know how much I appreciate them, so I don’t need to say it’s, is not tangible. A lot of people require to hear that they are loved, and sometimes they don’t know how much they need to hear it until they do; the same goes for you.

Language is an effective tool to transcend any race, ethnicity, and religious beliefs. So, verbally or in written form, positive words of affirmation allow all people to feel more accepted, regardless of their background.

It shows their efforts are appreciated and boosts their confidence, and allows them to convey their feelings of love.

Words of affirmation can be vital in other kinds of interactions. For instance, you could employ different kinds of affirmations expressing gratitude and kindness towards your family members, friends, boss, or coworkers.

Plus, if you give affirmations to raise them, it shows them that you’re also seeking to strengthen your relationship.

There is evidence that suggests doing your best to encourage your spouse’s spirit could help them deal with health issues and boost their health and well-being, even when they are in a difficult situation. You should consider this, particularly since helping your spouse be more positive isn’t difficult to accomplish.

If you’re not great at expressing yourself, there is plenty of support in this article and on the internet for those who require more help. All you have to do is consider what you love most about your spouse or partner and tell him/her about them.


Finding the perfect affirmations for yourself, him/her, doesn’t need to be complicated. You can use the suggestions in this article or create your own. Be aware of how much your partner is important to you and what you would like them to understand, and how you will want them to feel.

Suppose you can’t always tell them what you think of them and decide how to convey your feelings. You might want to stress that you believe they are gorgeous, admire how they transform your house into a home, or why they’re a great partner.

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