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People Pleaser Quotes to Help You Stop Pleasing Everyone But Yourself

Are you having trouble asserting yourself and often putting other people’s needs over your own? Do you feel the constant pressure to please everyone, making you feel overwhelmed? If these situations resonate with you, then it’s a problem. Fortunately, there are many insightful quotes that will inspire you to break out of this habit. It’s crucial to free yourself from the cycle and start paying attention to your well-being. In this spirit, we’ve gathered a lot of quotes that are specifically designed for people-pleasers.

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These quotes will spark the spirit of inspiration and empower you by encouraging you to be authentic, be yourself, say no when necessary, and meet your personal requirements. We recognize that letting go of the desire to please may be challenging; we believe these quotes will be helpful guides on your journey. So, take a calm breath, let your mind relax, and let these gems of wisdom help you live an enjoyable and fulfilling life. Keep in mind that it’s totally acceptable to make yourself the center of attention at times, and we’re here to help you in every step of the journey.

Who Is A People Pleaser

A person who is a people pleaser strives so hard to make people content.

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They will take any step to please a person; this can mean “editing” words and behaviors in order to get someone else’s approval; it can lead to feelings of anger, burnout, and lack of fulfillment.

According to Merriam Webster Merriam Webster dictionary, “the definition for a “people pleaser” is:

  • someone or something that pleases or wants to please people
  • often: a person who has an emotional need to please others o

So, what does it mean to be a people pleaser? And is it a good or bad thing?

Why Read People Pleaser Quotes?

It may sound simple, but a people-pleasing person is one who puts in the effort to keep everyone else happy. While this may not seem like a bad thing, the motive behind this behavior can be a problem for your happiness in the long run, not to mention your health, too, in the long run.

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People who are pleasing get a bit of an unfair reputation; being willing to go the extra mile to ensure that people are satisfied and going the extra mile for those you love are great personal qualities and characteristics to possess.

The most important problem is that these positive characteristics are easy to exploit. Unfortunately, a large portion of human beings (especially those self-centered kinds of people) are not able to appreciate people they view as easy to manipulate.

Another problem is that you often damage yourself when you go over the top to please others. Why? It could be because you’re trying to avoid conflict or due to misplaced loyalty. No matter the cause, it likely needs some retrospection to figure out why you’re a people pleaser.

Is Being a People Pleaser Bad?

People-pleasing isn’t necessarily positive or negative; it is all dependent on your unique situation.

Although caring for other people is a good quality, being a person-pleaser could lead to unhealthful behavior. It could occur:

  • When you make unhealthy decisions or take unhealthy actions trying to meet the expectations of others.
  • Or when you prioritize the wants and needs of others above your wants and needs excessively.
  • Or when you base your self-worth on others’ approval and opinion.

Empathy for people around you, being considerate, and demonstrating kindness are all wonderful things, but they can be taken too far.

The bottom line is that pleasing people is fine, provided it doesn’t adversely affect your life; if it does, then it’s time to review your own behavior and change things.

To overcome the negative effects of people pleasing, it takes a significant amount of self-work, and these quotes will help you become aware and motivate you to take even more actions.

Best People Pleaser Quotes

Use the following quotes to help you drop your people-pleasing ways, set healthy boundaries with confidence, and care for your own needs in a healthier and more balanced way.

To be honest, some of these quotes may sting a bit; as you read through, notice which ones make you feel good or bad and tap into why. This experience could be great to journal to help you gain further insights and clarity as you continue your personal development journey.

  • “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt.
  • “When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.” – Shannon L. Alder.
  • “Saying NO can be the most empowering word if you struggle with codependency, abusive relationships or low self-esteem.” – Unknown.
  • “You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.” – Mandy Hale.
  • “Never seek to please anyone. Seek to evolve thyself.” – Lailah Gifty Akita.
  • “Don’t be a people pleaser. Trust your instincts.” – Salome Mumba.
  • “Pleasing everybody is never a responsibility. If they like you for who you are, good. If not, it’s their problem, not yours.” – Unknown.
  • “You receive what you tolerate.” – Henry Cloud.
  • “Givers must set limits because takers rarely do.” – Rachel Wolchin.
  • “Trying to please everyone only pleases no one.” – Aesop.
  • “Stress, anxiety, and depression arise when we exist solely to please others.” – Paulo Coelho.
  • “The problem with attempting to satisfy everyone is that there’s inevitably at least one person who remains unhappy: you.” – Elizabeth Parker.
  • “People pleasing gratifies everyone but the one doing the pleasing.” – Sanjo Jendayi.
  • “You can manage to please some people sometimes, all people sometimes, some people all the time, but you can never please all people all the time.” – Abraham Lincoln.
  • “No is a complete sentence.” – Anne Lamont.
  • “I set boundaries not to offend you but to respect myself.” – Unknown.
  • “People only treat you one way, the way you allow them to.” – Unknown.
  • “You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” – Unknown.
  • “Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do.” – Rachel Wolchin.
  • “I’m done living for other people. I’m done being a people pleaser. I’m done thinking about what people think about me.” – Shailene Woodley.
  • “People pleasing pleases everyone but the pleaser.” – Sanjo Jendayi.
  • “Sometimes you don’t realize you are actually drowning when you are trying to be everyone else’s anchor.” – Anonymous.
  • “Trying to please everybody is impossible – if you did that, you would end up in the middle with nobody liking you. You’ve got to make the decision about what you think is your best, and do it.” – John Lennon.
  • “If you are busy pleasing everyone, you are not being true to yourself” – Jocelyn Murray.
  • “Be wary of the praise of men; don’t let it pump you up unnecessarily, and don’t let it paralyze your progress” – Bernard Kelvin Clive.
  • “You are not designed for everyone to like you.” – Anonymous.
  • “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle.
  • “I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” – Ed Sheeran.
  • “There is a huge cost to your soul; no dignity, no honesty, no opinions or thoughts of your own, and no you, are just some of the costs.” – Dr. Anne Brown.
  • “Your biggest commitment must always be to yourself.” – Bridgett Devoue.
  • “When you engage in people pleasing, you are out of integrity with yourself, your goals, your dreams, and your life’s mission.” – Eileen Anglin.
  • “There’s something very addictive about people pleasing. It’s a thought pattern and a habit that feels really, really good until it becomes desperate.” – Anne Hathaway.
  • “When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho.
  • “Quit wondering why they persist and begin questioning why you enable it.” – Unknown.
  • “Caring excessively about others’ opinions will perpetually shackle you.” – Lao Tzu.
  • “Your genuine life commences when you liberate yourself from living for others’ judgments. In that instant, the door to self-acceptance opens.” – Shannon L. Alder.
  • “You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say NO to people.” – Unknown.
  • “Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures.” – Edwin Louis Cole.
  • “Individuals set boundaries to feel safe, respected, and heard.” – Pamela Cummins.
  • “Each time you set a healthy boundary, you say ‘yes’ to more freedom.” – Nancy Levin.
  • “Walls keep everybody out. Boundaries teach them where the door is.” – Mark Groves.
  • “People pleasing hides the real you” – Unknown.
  • “Let your light shine today, and let your personality blossom, too. You don’t have to be a people-pleaser, just a people-lover.” – Beth Moore.
  • “We cannot please all men, but we can be a blessing to many.” – Mac Canoza.
  • “If you’re trying to please everyone, then you’re not going to make anything that is honestly yours, I don’t think, in the long run.” – Viggo Mortensen.
  • “They try to please others, give to others, and care for others in a desperate hope that they may make themselves worthy.” – Beverly Engel.
  • “Why should we worry about what others think of us? Do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?” – Brigham Young.
  • “If I were surrounded by people who always approved of me, I wouldn’t need such a deep relationship with my own sense of right and wrong.” – Vironika Tugaleva.
  • “As much as I don’t want to admit it, I really am a people pleaser. If I throw a party at my house, it’s hard for me to relax. I’m too obsessed with whether everyone’s having a good time.” – Rachael Harris.
  • “While being you and truly sharing what you do will bring happiness to others, you won’t find contentment merely trying to keep others happy.” – Rasheed Ogunlaru.
  •  “The only thing wrong with trying to please everyone is that there is always at least one person who will remain unhappy. You.” – Elizabeth Parker.
  • “Don’t be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.” – Unknown.
  • “Sometimes you aren’t listening to your body because you’re listening to everybody else’s expectations.” – Ann Voskamp.
  • “Self-care is giving the world the best of you, not the rest of you.” – Katie Reed.
  • “It’s not about being what everyone wants you to be; it’s about being yourself and finding someone who truly loves you for what you are.” – Unknown.
  • “The only reason people take you for granted is because they assume you’ll always be there. Prove them wrong.” – Unknown.
  • “Your life isn’t yours if you constantly care what others think.” – Unknown.
  • “I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions, or unnecessary conversations.” – Unknown.
  • “The deepest pain I ever felt was denying my own feelings to make everyone else comfortable.” – Nicole Lyons.
  • “I was always going to let someone down, so I decided it wouldn’t be me anymore.” – Unknown.
  • “Declining can be an empowering response for those grappling with codependency, toxic relationships, or diminished self-esteem.” – Unknown.
  • “Prioritize self-love by setting boundaries. Your energy and time are precious; you dictate their usage. You educate others on how to treat you by determining what you will and won’t tolerate.” – Anna Taylor.
  • “The deepest anguish I ever experienced was denying my feelings to appease everyone else.” – Nicole Lyons.
  • “Boundaries need to be communicated first verbally and then with actions.” – Henry Cloud.
  • “Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.” – Doreen Virtue.
  • “Boundary setting helps you prioritize your needs over other people’s wants.” – Lauren Kenson.
  • “Honoring your own boundaries is the clearest message to others to honour them, too.” – Gina Greenlee.
  • “It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it.” – Mandy Hale.
  • “People-pleasers are often tormented by a conflict between the needs and wants of others versus those of themselves. If you aim to please others, you tend to disregard your own needs and instead prioritize the needs of others, which eventually becomes a self-destructive pattern.” – Patrick King.
  • “I’m a pleaser, but it’s not a good thing because you forget about pleasing yourself at the end of the day.” – Nikki Bella.
  • “As a people-pleasing adult, your conscience still orients you to the expectations of others. By your demonstrated willingness to put others’ needs before your own, you continue to accord other people a position of authority over you. Even though you may be taking care of others in what often feels like a parental capacity and meeting your adult obligations and responsibilities, your conscience still treats you like an obedient or disobedient child.” – Harriet B. Braiker.
  • “As a people-pleaser, your perceptual antennae are attuned to the needs, preferences, desires, requests, and expectations of others. The psychological “volume” of other people’s needs is turned up high, while the relative volume of your own needs is very nearly muted altogether” – Harriet B. Braiker.
  • “There’s a very fine line between trying to please others and making sure that your own needs are being met.” – Frank Sonnenberg, Listen to Your Conscience: That’s Why You Have One.
  • “Being a people-pleaser takes its toll on your physical health. If you juggle multiple responsibilities at home and at work and try to keep up with everyone’s demands on you, you’re bound to lose sleep, not have enough time or energy for exercise, and rely on food options served up fast but greasy and definitely unhealthy. Keeping with this pattern is guaranteed to make you more vulnerable to catching diseases from the common cold to serious heart disease. This is the way being a relentless people-pleaser can literally kill you.” – Patrick King.
  • “People-pleasers feel they must constantly be performing acts of service to others to gain acceptance. That requires a lot of work, effort, and energy. From the book: Removing Your Shame Label.” – Eddie Capparucci.
  • “Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.” – Jim Carrey.
  • “If they were there for you when you had nothing, they are the ones worth having now. If they only notice you because of what you have gained, are they worth having at all?” – Donna Lynn Hope.
  • “Your time is way too valuable to be wasting on people that can’t accept who you are.” – Turcois Ominek.
  • “The surest way to lose your self-worth is by trying to find it through the eyes of others.” – Becca Lee.
  • “‘No’ is a complete sentence. It does not require justification or explanation.” – Unknown.
  • “Don’t be a people pleaser… be a self pleaser… it’s not ego… it’s called self-respect.” – Preeta Gupta.
  • “Don’t be a people pleaser. Trust your instincts.” – Salome Mumba.
  • “Do things for you, not for the approval or satisfaction of others. You’ll attract the people who matter.” – Unknown.
  • “Every yes is a no to something else.” – Unknown.
  • “Be yourself. People don’t have to like you. You don’t have to care.” – Unknown.
  • “Don’t change to please people. If they can’t accept you for who you are, you don’t need them in your life.” – Unknown.
  • “Your time is way too valuable to be wasting on people that can’t accept who you are.” – Turcois Ominek.
  • “Pleasing everybody is never a responsibility. If they like you for who you are, good. If not, it’s their problem, not yours.” – Unknown.
  • “I can only please one person per day. Today isn’t your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.” – Unknown.
  • “The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are those who benefited from you having none.” – Unknown.
  • “Sometimes you don’t realize you are actually drowning when you are trying to be everyone else’s anchor.” – Unknown.
  • “People pleasing lacks allure because it lacks authenticity. We aren’t embodying our true selves.” – Aziz Gazipura.
  • “Distinguishing between helping others and becoming a people pleaser is vital. Placing others’ needs before our own depletes our energy, leading to depression, physical ailments, and overwhelm.” – Gabrielle Bernstein.
  • “If you live for others’ approval, you’ll perish from their disapproval.” – Lecrae Moore.
  • “Cease seeking approval from others. Prioritize your personal evolution.” – Lailah Gifty Akita.
  • “Don’t seek to please others; seek to grow yourself.” – Lailah Gifty Akita.
  • “A boundary is not that at which something stops, but that from which something begins.” – Martin Heidegger.
  • “When someone oversteps your boundaries, they’re letting you know that what you want doesn’t matter.” – Phil Good.
  • “Setting boundaries is a positive, healthy necessity in one’s life which will empower and raise confidence in oneself.” – Unknown.
  • “Boundaries: If someone throws a fit because you set boundaries, it’s just more evidence the boundary is needed.” – Unknown.
  • “Your personal boundaries alert you to abuse and remind you to follow through with your plan to protect yourself.” – Unknown.
  • “The first thing you need to learn is that the person who is angry at you for setting boundaries is the one with the problem.” – Unknown.
  • “Children who feel unloved and unprotected are like a half-filled cup. They become incapable of ‘filling up’ because they have come to believe they are unworthy of love. They try to please others, give to others, and care for others in a desperate hope that they may make themselves worthy.” – Beverly Engel.
  •  “If you find yourself craving approval, you are low on self-love. Stop grasping for a few scraps wherever you can. Go home and make yourself a feast. Love yourself deeply today.” – Vironika Tugaleva.
  • “Niceness is the psychological armour of the people-pleaser.” – Harriet B. Braiker.

In a world where politeness and kindness are commonly praised virtues, being called a “Nice Guy” may initially appear to be an honorific badge, but underneath the surface of that harmless label is a complicated and frequently problematic issue. 

No More Mr. Nice Guy – Nice Guys Finish Last
  • “As women, we have more of a tendency to be people-pleasers, and I know a lot of women who are not vocal about what makes them happy.” – Katherine Heigl.
  • “Both of my marriages have taught me the same lesson twice over really harsh: listen to your instincts. Don’t be a people pleaser.” – Drew Barrymore.
  • “‘No’ might ignite their anger, but it will ignite your freedom. Remember, you’re not alone in your journey toward self-discovery.” – Nayyirah Waheed.
  • “I cannot offer a formula for success, but I can provide a formula for failure — attempting to please everyone.” – Herbert Bayard Swope.
  • “You are allowed to set boundaries. You are allowed to wave bye-bye to anyone who doesn’t respect them without apology.” – Unknown.
  • “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown.
  • “If someone gets mad at you for creating a boundary, consider that a good sign that the boundary was necessary.” – Jenna Korf.
  • “You don’t set boundaries to offend or please others. You do it to manage the priorities and goals set for yourself and for your life.” – Unknown.
  • “Setting boundaries is your responsibility. People will continue to do what you allow. You get to decide what is and what isn’t allowed in your life.” – Unknown.
  • “A people-pleaser is worried about rejection. They have a need, as we all do, to be accepted and treasured—to be loved. But in people-pleasers, this need is amplified to the extent that they will bend over backwards just to not lose that love or acceptance. They are driven by avoiding negative consequences rather than creating positive possibilities.” – Patrick King.
  • “A people-pleaser must always cultivate a spirit of giving and selflessness— which is going to stuff more difficult feelings like rage, anguish, and animosity deeper and deeper inside you.” – Patrick King.
  • “All of us need validation from others. We thrive on acclaim, compliments, praise, and overall kindness. There’s nothing wrong with that. But people-pleasers rely solely on the approval of outsiders. Their low self-value makes them entirely dependent on other people’s opinions. They are like a shadow, as they are completely reactionary to other people.” – Patrick King.
  • “Also critical to the People-Pleasing Mindset is that no one—including yourself—thinks of you as a selfish person. But your definition and scope of the term selfish are overly broad and essentially wrong in important ways. There is a big, important difference between exercising enlightened self-interest and being selfish. You may choose to be a martyr and sacrifice your own needs on the altar of those of your family and friends. But, in doing so, you are neither demonstrating nor proving that you are unselfish but merely self-destructive.” – Harriet B. Braiker.
  • “While being genuine and sharing your talents brings joy to others, seeking to keep everyone content won’t lead to contentment. Be yourself, and let your light shine.” — Rasheed Ogunlaru.
  • “I’m naturally a people pleaser. Confrontations cause high anxiety for me.” – Rose Byrne.
  • “Gaining approval by pleading for it is futile. When you stand confidently in your self-worth, respect follows.” – Mandy Hale.
  • “Important reminders for a people pleaser: Someone else’s thoughts and desires do not require a change in your own beliefs or another item on your to-do list.” – Unknown.
  • “In all relationships, whether personal or business, people-pleasers take the attitude that they have to do everything they can to the nth extreme for them to merely survive. This feeling results in their working overtime, above and beyond, to make them work. To them, there appears to be a linear relationship between the amount of pleasing they do and how much approval they receive. At the very least, a huge effort on their part is a necessary part of the equation.” – Patrick King.

Read More: Assertiveness: how to stand up for yourself and still win the respect of others

Read More: Is it possible that I have an inferiority complex? What Can I Do to Get Rid of It?

Read More: How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

Read More: Signs of Toxic Adult Children and The Best Ways to Deal with Them


Conclusion

While it’s wonderful to be a compassionate and considerate individual, it’s essential to achieve the perfect harmony that suits you. You deserve the same attention, care, and affection as much as every other person in your life.

These quotes can assist you in understanding the ways in which your behavior that pleases others is negative for your physical and mental well-being. The balance between remaining committed to your values and not being a compromiser can be challenging to achieve and requires time and experience to learn your limits.

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