The Error In Asking Someone To Love You The Way You Are

Has someone ever said to you or have you ever told someone, “Love me the way I am’” this statement I think may have lost its meaning; I think a lot of people just say it without really understanding it, and I think most of the people that don’t really understand it say for sympathy, or to be excused of their wrongs.

Before you continue reading this article, I want you to take a minute or two to ask yourself what this statement means. 

Have an answer? I hope so but hold that thought while you continue reading to find out if we are in agreement or not. 

The Error In “Love Me The Way I Am”

You might not be a religious person, but I want to make a quick reference to a passage of the bible, two passages, actually. 

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.

Romans 5:8-9 KJV

This suggests that with our imperfections, flaws, vices, bad attitude, and everything negative (In that, while we were yet sinners), someone still looked at us and loved us just the way we were and went further to prove this love in action by paying the price, laying down His life for us (Christ died for us because God commendeth his love toward us).

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13 KJV

Also, Let’s look at 

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

Galatians 2:20 KJV

Interestingly, Galatians 2:20 is saying that the life which was paid for by the blood of Christ is the life that ought to be lived through him. Being religious or not, or whether you want to look at it as just a story, these passages are telling us that Christ loved us in our imperfections, flaws, vices, bad attitude, and everything negative, Yes, “the way you are” but this love does not call us to remain like that, it calls us to the divine life, to do better, to improve, to be better, in other words, to change for the best. 

I am hoping you have started to get a clearer picture of “love me the way I am,” it’s not an excuse to remain the same, to put your burden on someone else, to carry vices and be okay with it; it’s not a license not to change for the better, in fact, love is one of many things that empowers changing for the best. How much you love yourself and how much you love other people are driving forces to change for the better.

Love is a beautiful thing, they say, but you have to be welcoming, improving, getting better, growing, not aggressive, and confidently carrying your vices everywhere you go without the intention and proactive attitude of being a better person. YOU HAVE TO BE LOVEABLE, or else loving you can become a burden for people in your life.

People who don’t understand this usually use the statement “love me the way I am” when they are backed up against the wall, losing to an argument, or when being corrected by refusing to welcome and accept constructive criticism; they quickly weaponize the “love me the way I am” statement.

There is plenty of nuance in the reasons why accepting corrections isn’t easy, but the most significant issue is that it can feel like an attack that is a negative assault for the majority of us. The truth is, many times, correction or criticism is a neutral or even a positive thing. Proverbs 15:32 states, “Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding.”

Read More: How Well Do You Handle Correction?

They are people who use the “love me the way I am” statement because they are manipulative, narcissistic, selfish, and trying to gaslight the people in their lives.

Gaslighting is most common in romantic relationships. However, it is not unusual for it to happen in control of friendships or between family members. Gaslighting others could be a sign of mental illness. This type of emotional abuse is used to control family members, friends, and co-workers.

Gaslighting can be described as a form of mental and emotional abuse and manipulation.

Gaslighting is when an abuser makes you question your beliefs or perceptions of reality.

Read More: What is Gaslighting: How to spot the signs and shut it down

You can not just ask people to “love you the way you are” and not be loveable; love ushers in change for the best, both to the giver and the receiver. Don’t make it difficult for the people in your life, and don’t turn it into something that is too heavy to carry; don’t turn it into a burden.

Love Me The Way I Am: Being Loveable And Welcoming

Being welcoming and loveable is a fundamental aspect of creating positive and inclusive environments in both personal and professional settings. When we learn to carry a welcoming and loveable demeanor, we foster a sense of warmth, acceptance, and belonging that can have a profound impact on the people around us.

At its core, being welcoming involves:

  • Embracing others with open arms.
  • Showing genuine interest in their well-being.
  • Creating an atmosphere of hospitality and acceptance.

This can be demonstrated through simple gestures such as offering a warm smile, engaging in active listening, and extending a helping hand to those in need. By doing so, we can make others feel valued, respected, and appreciated.

Have you ever thought about how you can make someone feel appreciated and loved?

It could sound dramatic, but you don’t have to be a world-class famous leader to make an impact on the lives of others; an act of appreciation and kindness can be used to accomplish the same goal.

This vital but often ignored aspect of interaction and communication is the basis of all satisfying personal or professional relationships.

Based on a study conducted by Grant and Gino (2010), an increase in productivity and motivation was seen among employees appreciated and praised by their bosses.

Read More: How to Make Someone Feel Appreciated

Plus, embodying a loveable nature involves radiating positivity, compassion, and empathy towards others. Loveable people are often characterized by their ability to spread joy, uplift those around them, and cultivate meaningful connections. They are quick to offer encouragement, support, and understanding, creating an environment where people feel safe to express themselves authentically.

In personal relationships, being welcoming and loveable can strengthen bonds, nurture trust, and improve overall well-being. 

It can create a sense of harmony and unity within families, friendships, and communities, fostering an environment where people feel understood, accepted, and cherished. In professional settings, a welcoming and loveable character can contribute to a positive work culture, improve team ability, and boost morale. It promotes collaboration, communication, and productivity, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and harmonious work environment.

Embracing a welcoming and loveable attitude is not only beneficial to those around us but also has a profound impact on our own well-being; just like I said earlier, it has a positive effect both on the giver and the receiver. By carrying and cultivating an environment of acceptance and compassion, individuals can experience increased happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose.

Being welcoming and loveable is a powerful force that has the potential to transform relationships, communities, and workplaces for the better. By embodying these qualities, we create spaces where everyone feels valued, respected, and embraced for who they are.

Love Me The Way I Am: How To Be Loveable And Welcoming 

Embodying loveability and a welcoming character is a powerful way to create positive interactions and foster inclusive environments. By cultivating these qualities, we can improve our relationships, contribute to harmonious communities, and create warm and inviting spaces in both personal and professional settings.

Genuine Interest and Empathy

To be loveable and welcoming, it’s essential to show genuine interest in others and demonstrate empathy. Actively listening to others, acknowledging their feelings, and showing understanding fosters a sense of connection and validation. By expressing empathy, we create an environment where others feel heard, valued, and appreciated; this point can not be over-emphasized.

Empaths are people who are acutely aware of others’ emotions and can even feel them. Empaths perceive the world differently from other people. They are very aware of other people’s emotions, pain points, and what they need. Sometimes, being an empath can seem overwhelming.

Although emotions can cause anxiety and moodiness, they can also lead to inward anxieties that can be a burden. However, all these feelings can be used to give you greater insight into your life.

Read More: How Being An Empathic Person Affects You And Those Around You

Open Communication and Positive Energy

Maintaining open communication and radiating positive energy are key components of being loveable and welcoming. Encouraging open dialogue, offering words of encouragement, and sharing uplifting thoughts can create an atmosphere of warmth and acceptance, and by fostering a positive environment, individuals can inspire others and contribute to a sense of belonging.

It sounds instinctive to communicate effectively. Unfortunately, communication with others can go wrong all too often. When we say something, the other person hears another, leading to misunderstandings, frustrations, and even conflicts; this can lead to problems at home, school, or work.

Many of us need to communicate more clearly and effectively. This is why it’s important to learn some key skills. These skills will help you communicate better with your spouse, children, boss, or coworkers. They can also deepen your relationships, build trust and respect, improve teamwork, as well as improve your social and emotional health.

Read More: How to Build Effective Communication skills

Gestures and Acts of Kindness

Small acts of kindness can go a long way in demonstrating being loveable and a welcoming attitude. Simple gestures such as offering a smile, lending a helping hand, or expressing gratitude can brighten someone’s day and yours, too.

Respect for Diversity and Inclusivity

Embracing diversity and promoting inclusivity is important to being loveable and welcoming. Respecting different perspectives, embracing cultural diversity, and creating spaces that celebrate individuality allows an environment of acceptance and understanding. 

Prejudice is derived from the word “to judge before.” It refers to the ability to form an opinion or impression regarding a person or group of people without complete investigation. In theory, it’s possible for someone to be prejudiced without anyone else being aware of it.

For instance, one might have many preconceived notions about someone that is Christian, Muslim, or Jewish and allow these judgments to impact how they perceive and treat these individuals. This is also true for those that are Black, White, or Asian. It is a naive behavior and mental attitude that does no good for anyone involved.

Read More: Breaking Prejudice and Discrimination: Unveiling the Hidden Impact and Overcoming Barriers

Creating Safe Spaces

Being loveable and welcoming involves creating safe spaces where people feel comfortable expressing themselves authentically because, in an environment free from judgment, we encourage open dialogue, promote self-expression, and cultivate a sense of security. Creating safe spaces allows people to feel empowered, heard, and accepted.


Read More: You Don’t Need Someone to Handle You; You Need Someone To Assist You

Read More: Low Vibrational People: Signs You Have A Low Vibration And How To Increase It

Read More: The Road to Hell Is Paved with Good Intentions – Means What Exactly?


Conclusion

The “love me the way I am” slogan, statement, or whatever you would like to call it, is not a license to be hard, full of vices, and not change; it’s supposed to power a proactive change for the better and promote authenticity. Embracing loveability and a welcoming attitude is a wonderful way to contribute positively to relationships, communities, and environments. By demonstrating genuine interest, empathy, open communication, kindness, respect for diversity, and creating safe spaces, we create a blissful environment. Cultivating these qualities not only enriches personal interactions but also contributes to the creation of inclusive and harmonious spaces in various aspects of life. 

So the next time you say to someone, “Love me the way I am,” be sure you know what it really means; it does not excuse you from your mistakes, it does relieve you of your responsibilities, and it certainly should not make loving you a burden for the people in your life. Are we in agreement? I hope we are, but if we are not, check out my article, DISGREEMENT WITHOUT HATE, and don’t forget ReelNat: Do Better, Be Better. 

“Be careful not to dehumanize those you disagree with. In our self-righteousness, we can become the very things we criticize in others.” –Eugene Cho

This quote made me question my assumptions and realize how simple it is to talk about a person or an entire group of individuals as if they are the enemy and not even humans. I know that failing to listen to the other side is wrong and I’m not claiming that listening to their argument will persuade you to change your mind; in fact, it’s possible that it won’t; they are, nevertheless, human beings, and something has affected and influenced them to believe in what they do.

The conflict has become entangled from humans vs. viruses to people vs. people.

We should learn to remind ourselves how to love and respect everyone, including those we disagree with because it is too easy to “dehumanize” anyone who does not share our ideas.

Read More: Disagreement Without Hate

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